Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360, PC
Release Date: April 30, 2013

I did not grow up it the 1980s, nor was I even alive for a nanosecond of it. Michael Jackson, Ronald Reagan, and cocaine were all legendary aspects of that era that I’ve only grown to hear about in my later years (with cocaine being the only survivor). Such is not the story for the creators of Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, a downloadable standalone title loosely based on 2012′s spectacular Far Cry 3. Taking Far Cry 3‘s winning first-person shooter formula and letting it soak in a radioactive 1980s cesspool, Blood Dragon pays wonderful homage to this coveted decade along with neatly mixing a level of oft-requested stupidity and open-ended, play-however-you-want gameplay.

Blood Dragon is good in all the good ways along with being bad in all the good ways. The game is set in the far flung “future” of 2007 and you are the perfectly-named Mark IV Cyber Commando cyborg Rex Power Colt. Your mission is simple: journey to a mysterious island to investigate Colonel Slogan who has been rumored to have gone rogue. Because this wouldn’t be much of game if he was just on an innocent vacation, Slogan’s nefarious plans are soon brought to light and can only be stopped by Rex.

Old school for your pleasure… and to save money.

As far as game plots go, Blood Dragon‘s is pretty dumb, but, unlike most other video games, it knows its stupidity. In fact, Blood Dragon revels in it. Every single spoken line is layered with cheese and is delivered in the corniest possible way, hitting home the fact that this was how it was envisioned. The horrendous script, presented in a VHS style with NES era visuals, is a cornucopia of lunacy that deserves to laughed at as much as it is laughed with. References easily acquire the cheap chuckles but Blood Dragon does have its fair share of quality writing (in both good and “bad” ways). Since it flip flops between reference and original humor, neither style grows tired and each only benefits the other by breaking up the pace. Blood Dragon had me laughing out loud in multiple instances and made me wish that more games nailed this sense of irreverent idiocy.

The archaic narrative doesn’t bleed over into the gameplay area; Blood Dragon plays excellently. The Far Cry 3 part in the title isn’t an accident since it basically is Far Cry 3 but dipped into a large tub of neon paint. A lot of the basics are very similar, if not the exact same. You can still gather attachments for the wealth of weapons, go on side quests, choose between stealth or action, and execute a lot of the same strategies, which is made easier since the list of takedowns is ripped straight from Far Cry 3 proper.

Sneak or… don’t.

Directly aping the moveset isn’t a pejorative since these systems are all open enough to still feel fresh. The flow between stealth and action, which is exemplified by taking over outposts (called garrisons), still is gratifying since it never feels like it is shackled by the confines of bad design. Bases and most objectives can be tackled the way you see fit, be it through the silent bow or loud futuristic machine guns.

But, as great as it is, the interplay between the stealth and action is lifted straight from Far Cry 3. The true innovation that Blood Dragon brings is, well, actual Blood Dragons. Yes, it’s not just a namesake. Blood Dragons roam the open world just like the other wildlife, except they are far more controllable and can shoot laser from their eyeballs. Harvesting cyber-hearts from fallen foes Kano-style, these reptilian foes can be tricked through these cardiac substitutes into devouring the enemy for you.

Blood Dragons are quite intimidating.

Manipulating Blood Dragons is yet another tool in the vast tool bag and lengthens the list of strategies, but fighting these mythical behemoths guarantees its own sense of satisfaction. Like the Big Daddies in Bioshock, these giant monstrosities feel like spontaneous boss fights that test your ability to fight and stay alive. It may only grant an experience points, but felling Blood Dragons is a welcome test in a different kind of strategy and is the game’s biggest positive. Dinosaurs with red scales and laser beam eyes are indeed a recipe for success.

While I said most aspects of Blood Dragon are lifted from Far Cry 3, it doesn’t mean they are executed in the same way. Leveling up is still present but is strictly linear this time around. Linearity may disappoint some players, but it shortens the time in menus and streamlines the whole experience, which is perfect for a title with a fraction of the cost.

Hunting has been similarly downsized. Cybernetic versions of animals still linger on the island, but poaching them is more of a waste of time than a viable side activity. Stabbing a cyber shark is stupid fun the first time, but taking its $100 off its corpse (sharks carry wallets apparently) just seems like waste of time. Collecting collectibles should replace your hunting time, since the game intelligently shows you each item’s location and grants some useful upgrades once snatched. It incentivizes collecting and rewards greatly for it, even if the game openly (and hilariously) mocks the tedium of all video game collectibles.

FOUR BARRELED SHOTGUN. YES.

Blood Dragon‘s array of unique neon-infused colors look distinctive enough to garner props, but the soundtrack deserves just as much, if not more, attention. Video game metal band Powerglove has composed a score that is not only alluring from an aural standpoint, but reinforces the atmosphere Blood Dragon evokes so excellently. Absolutely hypnotizing beats and video game inspired noises feel like they were baked in the 1980s but were infused with a modern style. Nostalgic and new, this audio style meshes incredibly with the entire game’s mood and highlights and betters the game’s central 1980s theme.

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon may be more Far Cry 3, but wrapping it in a coat influenced by 1980s pop culture and zany humor gives this downloadable title reason enough to exist. The solid open gameplay foundation set by its predecessor mixed together with the mood, aesthetic, soundtrack, and Blood Dragons more than justifies the reasonable $15 price point. Although probably meant to made just a side endeavor for the whole franchise, I can only hope this is just the first step for Mr. Power Colt.

The 80s

+Absurdly stupid sense of humor throughout the entire package
+Addicting upgrade system
+Shooting and stealth are tuned well and lifted directly from Far Cry 3
+Catchy, mood-fitting soundtrack
+MOTHERFUCKING BLOOD DRAGONS ARE AWESOME

The 70s

-Crafting isn’t present
-Last encounter, while stupid, isn’t as climactic as it should be

Final Score: 9/10

Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U
Release Date: April 16, 2013

On the nerd Venn diagram, the overlap of Mortal Kombat and comic books is pretty significant. Well aware of this fact, developer NetherRealm attempted to combine to two ideas for 2009′s Mortal Kombat Vs. DC. Finding a lukewarm reception between gamers and critics, NetherRealm stuck to what they knew best and created 2011′s incredibly violent and spectacular Mortal Kombat reboot. This split didn’t leave DC completely out to die though. Instead, it led to Injustice: Gods Among Us, their new fighting game significantly lacking in fatalities and people named Sub-Zero. Stepping back in over the top violence but subbing in a more popular universe, NetherRealm has crafted a fighting game stepping far enough into familiar territory but carving out enough of its own path to become worthy for any fighting game enthusiast.

As far as most fighting game stories go, the boilerplate answer of “dudes punching dudes” usually suffices. Injustice‘s narrative presentation, as was the case with Mortal Kombat, far surpasses anything else presented in the genre.

Superman is far from being the iconic, save-all hero that most people have come to know and adore. Early events have shifted his friendly tone to a more benevolent one, enslaving all who fail to join his side and see through his goggles of twisted justice.

Superman the asshole.

Or at least that’s one of the Supermans (Supermen?). Dimensional travel is a key method of carrying the narrative, since a good chunk of the cast mysteriously jumps to this parallel universe. The “main” universe inhabitants start interacting with the other universe’s travelers, all with the same goal of halting Superman’s evil rule.

Excuse me if that was confusing to read because that slight sloppiness is how this tale is presented. Since the player is dealing with two versions of nearly everyone in the cast, it can be a little too confusing at times to remember the loyalty of certain characters. Is this the bad Aquaman? Is Cyborg faking his allegiance to Superman? Or did I just get confused to which one was actually on the screen? It may not take long to come to a conclusion, but quick mental checks are necessary at every cutscene to ensure that the plot makes sense.

I think that is the good Aquaman?

Because when Injustice does find the time to make sense (as much as a comic book story can make sense), it can be quite an engaging tale. From recognizable characters like Wonder Woman to more obscure picks like Black Adam, each of these digital beings puts on a convincing performance due to the fluid animation and solid voice acting. Chemistry and clever quips from the cast differentiates each from each other and allows the appropriate characters to become likable. Except Aquaman. Because fuck Aquaman.

These well-acted beings take part in a story that has its share of twists and turns but the main positive takeaway is the pacing. Because there is no visible loading, the story always feels like it is moving. A cutscene will play and seamlessly lead right into the next fight and the process repeats. This forward momentum ensures there isn’t a lull in the action and strikes the perfect balance between the story bits and the superhero on supervillain brawling.

Said brawling holds the game up no matter which mode the player partakes in. The basics are fairly standard: two fighters face off in a two-dimensional setting using an array of special moves and combo attacks to deplete the opponent’s health bar first. Traditional, yes, but Injustice takes some risks that separate it from its competitors but maintains enough consistencies to not alienate the existing fanbase.

Nightwing kicking some ass.

Combos, extensive (and satisfying) juggles, button inputs, and special moves share a similar tempo to that of Mortal Kombat, but, despite sharing the same developer, Injustice offers a suite of changes not seen in the bloodier franchise. Environments are no longer pretty locales to beat the opposition down in; they are now part of the fight. Hitting a shoulder button allows the player to interact with a feature in the background, but most of it feels unfair. Nearly all actions that involve the background are unblockable, nigh unavoidable projectiles that feel far too cheap for their own good. Allowing these uber-powerful moves to be unblockable would negate most issues associate with this feature.

Environment transitions are far more fair and are much more visually pleasing. Corner an opponent into a specific side of the arena sets them up for a greater beating via a transition. Pressing back and the heavy attack buttons, fighters can be launched through one part of the arena into a whole separate one. A devastating move in a gameplay context, transitions not only deal damage but unveil yet another layer of each locale. Each of the ludicrously over-the-top short cutscenes accompanying each transit offers a level of ridiculousness that is pleasing to see every time.

Aaaaaaaand off to the next area.

Another change NetherRealm offers is the Clash system one which, like its name, conjures up conflicting ideals. The clash serves is analogous to MK‘s Breaker move, interrupting a juggle combo when activated correctly. When initiated, players wager varying amounts of their super meter and rewards the top bidder with a health boost or deals damage to the opponent, which is dependent on who initiated the Clash. To some it may offer some underlying set of strategy, but it ends up feeling like a cheap way to extend the match and overly punish players who utilize their super meter. I found myself hoarding my super meter in fear that I’d lose a wager if I were to expend any of it on special attacks.

Fighting games are rightfully judged on their roster, an aspect that Injustice does a respectable job in. Batman may be represented more than any other part of DC’s pantheon, but the stable is a well-rounded list of their most known faces. More importantly, they play differently from each other and have their own reason to exist from a gameplay perspective. Differentiation is further perpetuated by the character ability, which gives the fighter a wholly unique power that can be utilized to perfect a certain member of the cast.

OH GOD SHAZAM YOU’RE TERRIBLE.

Like Mortal Kombat, Injustice is rife with modes and extra activities to do. Besides the usual suite of modes of multiplayer and single player, the Battles modes holds a different ways to take on opponents. It isn’t game changing, but the added modifiers a la Test Your Luck put a unique spin on the traditional fighting. The Challenge Tower also returns in the form of S.T.A.R. Lab missions that toss different stupid mini-games at you at almost every turn. Although silly and dumb, these wacky challenges extend playtime in an unthorodox method. Add in the economic system that unlocks different special goodies and Injustice becomes a game of hefty value with a lengthy to-do list.

Injustice: Gods Among Us adheres to a certain blueprint but it is one worth following. NetherRealm’s expertise in the genre shows in Injustice‘s quality story mode, deep fighting mechanics, and girth of extra modes. It may not be as groundbreaking as Mortal Kombat, but Injustice demands attention from those seeking a fighting game or those just really interested in DC. Injustice shows that breaking down MKvDC in halves was the better option.

Batman:

+Deep, fluid combat system worthy of people of multiple skill levels
+Plenty of modes, content, characters, and unlocks
+Story mode flows well and is a good mash up of heroes and villains

Shazam:

-Environmental attacks are unblockable, thus feeling unfair
-Interdimensional story can be a little hard to follow at times

Final Score: 8.5/10

View the first episode of our new series The Rundown, here on YouTube:

If you liked it, please subscribe, comment, and like. We will have more of this every Friday.

Oh hello. I didn’t see you there. I guess I’m too busy playing Shadows of the Damned for Console HQ’s YouTube page. What’s that? You can’t hear me?

I SAID I’M PLAYING SHADOWS OF THE DAMNED FOR OUR YOUTUBE PAGE.

Can you seriously still not here me? Just fucking leave, I hear Deaf HQ is looking for members.

For those of you who didn’t need to hear me yell (and I do apologize, it’s seriously not good for someone to yell that loud so close to your computer screen,) I extend to you an invitation.

Join us on the page, watch the newest Let’s Play and comment on the videos. Like, subscribe, share, anything! We do these videos for you, and we want to bring it to as many people as possible.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360, PC
Release Dates: February 20, 2013 (Episode 1); March 19, 2013 (Episode 2); April 23, 2013 (Episode 3)

On premise alone, Assassin’s Creed has always been a wonderful, thought-provoking franchise. Time travelling through history to stab historical icons has always been as fun as it has been creative, letting players enact orchestrated assassinations in worlds only seen in history text books. Assassin’s Creed III captured that fantasy well too, but the series has never dabbled in alternate history which is, again, a premise worthy of interest.

Ubisoft went pseudo-Undead Nightmare and announced a trilogy of downloadable episodes starring the evil reign of a King Washington in an evil, lethargic slouch. Rather than be another DLC pack filled with just more levels, the alternate take on a such an intriguing topic was a ballsy move, one that only could improve on a killer foundation that Assassin’s Creed III set. However, that is what one would think if the appropriate amount of manpower was poured into this episodic downloadable expansion. The Tyranny of King Washington is about as half-assed as you can get, overcharging players for such a skimpy, barely interesting set of missions.

“Barely interesting” is heartbreaking to say about Assassin’s Creed, especially one set in such a unique time period. It does initially show promise. Showcasing the nefarious King Washington unloading rounds into Ratonhnhaké:ton (who never actually became Connor) and burning down villages, the tone of an asshole version of G-Dubs is set well in the beginning but slowly dwindles over time. Besides the aforementioned scene and scant revelations throughout, it feels as if Ubisoft forgot to add anything that isn’t mundane or boring in the narrative.

One of Washington’s better scenes.

Most of each episode feels like padding which is reflected in the mission structure. The people need food. Cause destruction around town. Free these nameless people. Not only is it ho-hum in the gameplay department, but when such blandness is reflected in the story, any iota of momentum that has built up has effectively been crushed in the constant lull. Even though you’re supposed to taking down an evil dictator hellbent on power, I felt like I wasn’t doing much in the way of actually going after him, instead just scraping at his royal toenails as he remained just out of reach. The final encounter is also rather sloppy, taking what the series does right and trashing it in favor of a more direct fight. Outside of the initial set-up, I didn’t care about anything happening because Ubisoft failed to capitalize on what made the premise so promising. A true fall from power.

Speaking of powers, Ratonhnhaké:ton’s moveset has been given a supernatural twist. In each episode, Ratonhnhaké:ton is granted the power of the wolf, eagle, and bear, giving him a cloak, a teleport, and super strength respectively. Sadly, each is painfully underutilized. As I’ve stated before, missions are rather boring and uninspired. This tedium doesn’t allow for each power to be used in any interesting fashion, but instead only if you want to escape or run right past obstacles. No cues are taken from games like Batman: Arkham City which gives the player new foes to tackle the newfound power. Arkham City had a wealth of powers and equal counterbalances held up by enemies. Nothing even rings close in these episodes, leaving each supernatural power to feel like a feature the designers forgot to account for.

Just put this power into a better game…

Even though it isn’t used as much as I would have liked, the eagle flight power is a worthy addition. In what could be the only surefire positive aspect about the entire experience, the eagle flight power is equal parts Blink from Dishonored and the grapnel hook from Batman: Arkham City and remains a solid way to traverse. The auto-aim associated with this ability is dependable and gets Ratonhnhaké:ton to his destination fairly quickly and silently. It augments the climbing in a way not seen in the franchise thus far and became my favorite way to zip around the city. Liking this power as much as I did made it that much harder to accept that the mission structure doesn’t accommodation for it at all, except for the first and last missions.

The visuals also received some new features, only if “features” means more bugs and visual hiccups. Assassin’s Creed III was already bug-ridden mess for most people and this trilogy of episodes continues this disgusting trend. I had missions break, characters wig out, people get stuck in their T-pose, among few other mysterious glitches, all of which emphasized how unfinished this product is. Reinforcing this idea was evident by just looking around; the DLC looks far worse than the core game. Boring, nearly-unfinished texture work accompanies all of the new areas (of which there aren’t many), with the main offender being the final episode. Episode three has the most (comparatively speaking) new stuff but it all looks dreadfully plain and ugly. Even the area I was sure would look at least somewhat decent was hiding behind the guise of being incomplete within the game world. Sloppy save, Ubisoft.

Yes, you still stab dudes and that is still pretty cool.

The Tyranny of King Washington isn’t salvageable no matter which way you slice it. The promising narrative is dry. The gameplay is more frustrating and not up to par with the main game. The game is far too short on value. Even if you love Assassin’s Creed III or are just into alternate history, The Tyranny of King Washington will underdeliver in a myriad of obtuse ways. This is one of those “What if?” scenarios that should have just remained a “What if?” scenario.

King:

+The Eagle power puts a more fluid twist on the classic climbing
+Catchy premise

Peasant:

-Buggy
-Bland storytelling and mission objectives
-New visuals are comparatively lacking
-Short campaign with terrible side “missions”
-Underwhelming final encounter

Final Score: 5.5/10

It started around 8th grade, I would repeat all the information I saw on G4TV, or online, and spread it as if I was in the know. But, I really wasn’t. I wished I could be. So, after I got my friend into not just mainstream games, but also knowing about the industry, we were hellbent on being a part of it. I have no idea what our site was called, or what it hosted, but I know if I went back and checked, I would be embarrassed.

After that, the idea stayed dormant for quite a while. I lost some of my interest in gaming. More as a player than a seeker of news. But, eventually around early 2010, I found myself back in the mood to have a website dedicated to writing about games. I started a website which was hosted on a free site, and wrote a few things. I forgot the name, but  just ended up thinking of it and checked the site out. It’s embarrassing. But, I was able to find funny articles I planned to write. (Some of which I will try to develop and bring here.) The site is hard to find, it would be a hard game to find on moonfruit. Almost a shame.

Again, the idea was dormant until I reached (community) college, and met Michael. By some freak chance, I clicked on an assignment he submitted in an online class we shared. He mentioned his liking for a certain gaming podcast, which I enjoyed listening to. I felt this was a man I could talk to about similar interests. By now I honestly can’t remember how I first communicated with him, but we ended up meeting. It was one of those meetings where you’re certain someone would end up dead, but he would be at a disadvantage because he came to my home. All ended up well, obviously.

Before Michael had come over, I debated asking him if he wanted to start a site about gaming. I got stuck on the idea because I thought he wouldn’t want to. It was a dumb notion to think asking a question like that would be on par as asking a girl out. I asked, and he answered he was going to ask the same thing. So it happened. We were going to start a website together.

We went through planning stages, as we were serious about this. I invested in securing the URL, along with any Word Press fees, and then we’d get started on content. I purchased a capture box in order to record gameplay, because one aspect we wanted our site to be was to heavily include video. So we launched, first making a few early videos which if you go back and look, are pretty bad. But, at that point Michael and I had just met, for our first three videos, we had only met hours prior. But it was the start of something huge for us.

Flash forward a year and five months later. Console HQ is still here. 157 videos, and 3,834 views later, we’ve made a small dent on the internet. But this website, and YouTube page isn’t what I would have imagined when we started. I can blame myself for that. As much money as I put into this crazy idea, I haven’t been supporting it. Go and look at the posts I have made over the course of a year. It’s practically empty. I blame it on the real world fact, no one is paying us to do this. It’s a hobby, not a job.

Michael, on the other hand, has been the driving force of content on the site. He published news, continues to do amazing reviews, and has recently started video reviews. This, in a way, is more his website than it is mine. But I want -no- need to be a part of it. That is why I’m happy to announce the following:

Console HQ is having a relaunch of sorts in the coming weeks.

We want you to engage with us, that means engaging with you. Not just from time to time, but on a set time, so you know exactly when to look for us. I want to revamp all the content on the site, whether it be serious or silly. Michael will continue to do what he has done best – reviews, news, previews, and quick peeks. I will become a part of this website with someone of my better skills – being funny, and that’s it. While Michael is the more serious writer, I want to be here for you to have fun. To laugh.

We’ve invested in a very nice camera, and a green screen in order to better provide you with quality videos featuring more of onscreen personality. We’ll still continue to deliver on what we’ve done best, but work to make it better and add more content. This includes a show starring me, in character, talking about recent gaming news and discussing it. If you’re familiar with The Colbert Report, you’ll feel at home. This show is set to premiere on Friday, May 3, with weekly episodes released every Friday after.

This is all in hopes of a more engaging and connected Console HQ. One aspect I have realized since our launch, has been the lack of engaging content which brings people back, over and over again. I’m hoping we’ll fix that in these coming months. With your continued support, I hope we make this site better for you. In turn, I hope you enjoy what we do enough to show others who would be interested. Because, we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t knowing you love what we do.

Thanks, and I hope to see you on our Facebook, YouTube, and right here on the site.

Platforms: PS3, Playstation Vita
Release Date: April 2, 2013

The impact of Nintendo’s iconic franchises is undeniable when gazing into the gaming hemisphere. Mario and Link’s imprint is still visible in almost every release, but Metroid‘s impression was nearly abandoned as technology progressed. You know the classic Metroidvania formula: your character starts from zero, builds up powers in a gradual fashion, and then opens up new pathways within a 2D platforming world. Guacamelee! shoves its way onto the Playstation 3 and Vita, resurrecting the timeless Metroidvania blueprint in its luchador-enamored world. Although such a shorthand description sells the game drastically short; Guacamelee! is brilliant homage that offers an ingenious mix of old and new ideas.

Guacamelee! wears its borrowed elements proudly on its spandex luchador suit. A mix of combat and platforming puzzles are in every room a la Super Metroid, with more areas unlocking once you have learned the appropriate move from the mysterious Choozo Statues (no, not these) scattered about. New abilities are perfectly paced throughout the game’s playtime. Once you get the hang of one move, a new one is introduced and integrated with the existing moveset. Because of this remarkable pacing, the platforming always has a new twist in it, making every room something new to behold. The last dungeon doesn’t offer any new techniques, but instead serves up a challenging amalgamation of every single ability, forcing the player to master them and skillfully use each in unison.

Guacamelee!’s references are anything but subtle.

Platforming doesn’t wait until the penultimate hour to rev up its difficulty though. Throughout the journey, the mere act of moving from area to area proves to test any gamer’s platforming mettle but never their patience. Guacamelee!‘s tight, responsive controls and forgiving checkpoints allow any devious gauntlet to really let loose, all the while knowing that you can’t fault the game for your failures. And the game doesn’t hesitate to show its old-school fangs from time to time, especially in the secret areas. Fair, but challenging platforming coupled with the dynamic, ever-changing nature makes this section of gameplay satisfying every single time.

Combat is similar, but instead of proudly wearing difficulty on its sleeve, Guacamelee! substitutes in combo-heavy fighting (or wrestling, whatever). Combat in these 2D platformers has always just been sort of there, only serving as a way to break up pace and allow the player to dispose of enemy forces. We accept it for it is even though it isn’t the sole draw of the genre. Rarely has it been a pivotal point for enjoyment like Guacamelee!. Brawling with enemies starts out as simple, mashy fun, but the true depth becomes apparent once more Choozo Statues are shattered (much to the goat’s chagrin). Although not completely comparable, Guacamelee!‘s combat shares many similarities with DmC Devil May Cry. Obviously, this is a favorable comparison because the ability for each game to possess the open ended choice needed for longer combos. Attack chains don’t feel canned but instead let the player choose what attacks happen instead of being shackled by limited design. Because of the sheer and shocking depth showcased as you progress, combat quickly becomes a gameplay facet to participate in rather than one to actively avoid.

Kick, punch, it’s all in the mind.

Despite its simplicity, the narrative is something you’ll inadvertently engage yourself in as well. Juan, your hardworking farmer protagonist, is offed rather quickly by Calaca, a mass of bones and evil aiming to kidnap the president’s daughter. Juan is revived via a luchador mask, turning his quest into one of redemption and rescue.

Rescue and revenge is about as archetypal as video game stories come, but the writing and delivery give the game the gold belt. Simply put, Guacamelee! is downright hilarious from its script to its visual gags. Humor stems from a few differing outlets and feed into a coherently funny game with multiple styles of comedic execution. Gaming references are displayed on many of the game’s billboards in creative ways and memes from sites like Reddit are prevalent (and might rub some the wrong way), but the game succeeds the most with its original writing. Characters have a peppy sarcasm about them, hastily (but cleverly) whipping insults and retorts around like suplexes in a wrestling ring, but are always funnily put together. Villains are overly cartoony in their nefarious plans and become funny parodies of actual bad guys while the secondary friendly cast all know what to say and when to say it, even if its intention isn’t always humorous. In all honesty, I’ve never laughed out loud so much while playing a game.

I guess “Successful Black Man vs. Almost Politically Correct Redneck” got cut.

While not as funny, Guacamelee!‘s art style is worth ogling. Extracting a bright color palette and drawing inspiration from Mexican traditions, Guacamelee! always looks completely awesome on both platforms. Whether in the living or dead worlds (which both have different art and effects), the art direction always holds up due to the fidelity of the visuals and brightness of the colors. To match the incredible visuals, the musical composition is catchy and utterly fantastic. It just fits, with its Mexican overtones colliding with a more standard affair resulting in an aural fiesta. Rarely does a game’s score fluidly mix with its overall aesthetic and become so damn infectious to boot.

While beautiful in picture form, it’s gorgeous in motion.

Guacamelee! is endearing from end to end with little to complain about. Its eight hour completion time might turn off some, but it just means there is no fluff stuffed in to pad out play time. There’s just satisfying combat, tricky platforming, ingenious writing, gorgeous visuals, and a killer soundtrack all tightly packed into one downloadable title. Samus and Simon Belmont would be proud.

Mexican

+Gorgeous art style with fluid, responsive animation and an amazing, fitting soundtrack
+Fun, light-hearted story with hilarious writing and an endearing cast
+Stupendous pacing
+Combat and platforming are both deep and challenging, but also fair

Mexican’t

-Some attacks are hard to dodge

Final Score: 9.5/10

Platform Differences:

Both versions look and play excellently, but the cross-play, cross-save, and cross-controller features are worth talking about anyway. Buying one version nets you the other for free and the cloud saving allows easy continuation of progress once you’ve uploaded a save. Sadly, it doesn’t mean twice the amount of trophies (one list, two games).

The most interesting feature is the cross-controller support, which allows the PS3 version to be played on the TV using the Vita as a controller and map. Yes, it sounds like a Wii U. This feature is novel, yet awesome and will hopefully be something more games consider.

Platforms: Xbox 360, PS3, PC

Release Date: March 5, 2013

I love Mass Effect 3. Mass Effect is definitely my favorite series of this console generation. Seriously, I never shut up about it to Kevin or Michael. Now, despite my borderline psychotic love for this series, I’ve never bought downloadable content (particularly for ME3) that didn’t leave me somehow discontent; Omega should have been ten dollars at most, and From Ashes should have just been part of the game. Citadel changed that. For once, downloadable content is worth exactly what you pay for it.

My Biotic Boo-Thang doing what he does best

Bioware was very upfront in telling us that this was to be the last hurrah for Commander Shepard’s story. While I’m sad that it’s coming to an end, it is a very loud hurrah. Citadel is completely saturated with fanservice to the point of being ridiculous. The story begins with resident badass old guy Admiral Hackett ordering the Normandy to be dry docked at the Citadel for repairs while the crew takes shore leave. Shepard goes to dinner with a friend and then a bunch of juggalos (I’m only assuming they’re Insane Clown Posse fans) burst in and shoot up the place. Shepard is then drawn into a dark conspiracy on his or her life, which must be the series’ tenth at this point.

Pictured: Juggalos

The primary story sequence takes roughly two hours to complete, and that’s just the combat. There are actually some interesting gimmicks to these sequences. Between precarious combat sequences and a really gnarly boss fight, Citadel does enough to feel unique, instead of the same old thing like Omega was. The writing was also very different than the series is used to. With the whole squad, plus everyone’s favorite dinosaur Wrex, involved there are one liners and witty retorts flying back and forth. Often times the humor can feel very surreal, especially against the background of the creepy, if predictable narrative. BioWare set out to give us fanservice, and they definitely hit the nail on the head. Almost every character gets some kind of spot light, and Shepard’s chosen love interest may have constant presence. Trust me, you can’t help but squeel when Garrus comes to your rescue then compliments your evening wear.

My body is ready, Garrus

Along with the story sequence, we are treated to the Silver Sun Strip entertainment district. Home to a casino and an arcade, you can (futilely) try to make some money here. Honestly though, the only minigame I had any fun with was a rockem-sockem-robots game at the arcade. The games at the casino aren’t really frustrating, but they are terribly boring and the strip doesn’t offer too terribly much to do. However, I did think it was really clever to have characters from the multiplayer hang out on the strip, and complain about the sometimes strange characters, and item rewards system. It adds a lot of ambiance to the strip, and that will keep you walking around much longer than the minigames will.

The real jewel of the strip is, however, the Armax Arsenal Combat Simulator. The Arena is sort of like a stripped down version of the multiplayer. You are given a small interface to set up matches against either Cerberus or Geth enemies, and later you can unlock Reapers and Collectors. The matches are pitifully easy at first, but you can unlock handicaps and modifiers to increase the challenge. Even though the arena doesn’t offer much up front, you can eventually fight “Super Elite” level enemies, and even the horrifyingly difficult Mirror Match setting. What’s really awesome about the arena is that you can pull in any living squad mate from throughout the series. If you want to have Wrex and Grunt fight alongside you, you can do that. While some party members, like Kasumi, have been neutered, others, like Jack, have become viciously powerful.  The arena is a gift that keeps on giving, and you can have several hours more with your Shepard there.

Come on guys, Jack isn’t that bad.

What really makes Citadel stand out is that it is extremely replayable. I have had three separate Command Shepards throughout my Mass Effect career (and I even have a fourth planned). I’ve played Citadel on each and I know there are stills scenes I have yet to see. BioWare has always prided their games on replay value and Citadel embodies that perfectly. For once, I can say that I don’t feel robbed by DLC.

The Real Deal:

+Great writing, with almost every squadmate present in some form.
+Extreme replay value
+Armax Arena will keep you coming back for more

Cheap Knockoffs:

-Story was fairly predictable
-The minigames were very bland
-Legion is never brought up in any way

Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360, PC
Release Date: March 5, 2013

Dante’s adventure in the slick, flashy, and downright gorgeous DmC Devil May Cry was an experience that completely reinvigorated the entire franchise. As awesome as Dante is, he is only half of the Nephilim lineage. Like Devil May Cry 3, we got to see glimpses of his twin brother Vergil but never got to play the other Son of Sparda until the expected re-release hit store shelves. DmC has a similar plan, but with much less waiting. Vergil’s Downfall comes to downloadable services for an odd price of $9 and even though Vergil isn’t as flexible as Dante, the blue-tinted brother is still a blast to play as.

Talking around the ending of DmC is hard, but suffice to say that Vergil is left in a tough spot when the credits roll. Downfall picks up right after the ending scene with Vergil accidentally getting trapped within Limbo’s hellish confines. Vergil aims to regain his power and be born anew.

Bruised, beaten, and pissed.

Epilogue stories like this are a tough cookie because it can all too easy for gamers to say that it “should have been included.” However, make it too irrelevant and its petty matters won’t compel anyone to actually pick it up. Vergil’s Downfall combines the best of each by giving us a short interesting story while setting up the inevitable sequel. The narrative here isn’t dire, but the obvious nods to what Ninja Theory has in mind will be worth for players to experience.

Content-wise, it shows an interesting internal and external struggle in Vergil, but the flaws come in presentation. Cutscenes aren’t as beautifully animated as they were in the main game. In fact, they are pretty hideous. Presumably to save money and time, instead of real-time scenes, story beats are conveyed through a comic book-like animated style. Jerky and stilted animation coupled with ugly drawings make actually looking at the cutscenes rather unpleasant, even if the dialogue is well-written. Time and budget are crushing factors within the realm of DLC so its understandable why it happened the way it did, it just doesn’t excuse its execution.

Gross.

Dante had a nearly overwhelming amount of options while slaying demons and, even if Vergil can’t quite keep up, he still has plenty of depth. Being twins, both brothers have enough in common to have combat feel familiar but Vergil has enough new tricks to make himself compelling. Grappling and dashing, while visually different, are nearly identical, but the true nuance comes from the swords and Devil Trigger abilities.

Instead of guns, Vergil hurls summoned swords a la DMC3 at his opponents. Once embedded, the target becomes available to be instantly pulled. Some upgrades can auto-plant swords, giving fast players the ability to stay suspended and move from enemy to enemy with ease. Devil Trigger is also no longer the “win button.” Certain special moves take up chunks of the appropriate bar, but don’t feel too overpowered when used. It recharges so quickly and can easily become a strategy placed within every fight instead of just being a panic button.

The new Wisp enemy.

Most enemies return with two new additions. The Wisp is a crowmaster-like foe that can only be attacked when a sword is fired at him, making him a thoughtful opponent. The other, the Imprisoner, is actually a pain to fight. Large and hulking like the Titans, the Imprisoner can’t be manipulated by grabs, but is far more annoying because of his attack patterns. Mines gets scattered around the play field, making each fight a careful, tedious bout of tiptoeing around and getting hit every which way. It kills the flow that the other parts of the DLC nail quite nicely. The Imprisoner doesn’t show up often, but he can still put a damper on otherwise brilliantly set up combat.

Other than the previous mentions, Vergil has demon and angel modes, even if each feels anemic when compared to Dante (although totally competent). He also shares a long upgrade tree (with a few typos for good measure), all of the difficulty modes, solid pacing, slick visuals, awesome music, and the shifting (although more narrow) environments from the main game, showing that most strengths made a somewhat smooth transition to this piece of DLC. The inability to play through the main campaign and the Bloody Palace as Vergil is disappointing, but aren’t aspects that should deter your attention from Vergil’s Downfall.

Juggling is still pretty awesome even if it doesn’t match Dante.

Vergil’s Downfall should be an easy purchase for all DmC Devil May Cry owners. The fair price, chunk of replayability, new character, and engaging epilogue story all make Vergil’s Downfall an attractive proposition for those willing to experience everything DmC related. The quality of this DLC almost makes you forget about Vergil’s fedora. Almost.

Son of Sparda:

+Vergil’s swordplay is different from Dante, but still deep and accessible
+Whets the appetite and plants seeds for an inevitable sequel
+Retains the great pacing, visuals, replay value, music, and dynamic environments from the core game

Bastardized Nephilim

-Level design can be too narrow
-No Bloody Palace or regular campaign play for Vergil
-Animated cutscenes are rather ugly

Platform: PS3
Release Date: March 12, 2013

God of War is essentially the perfect video game trilogy. The original God of War exploded onto the scene and forever changed action games, bringing a fast, brutal take on Greek mythology wrapped up in a compelling personal story. The sequel maintained this sturdy foundation, streamlined it, and simultaneously raised the bar and the stakes in almost every department. God of War III took these stakes established in God of War II, jacked them up to the stratosphere, and closed out the series in the most satisfying way possible. Concerning both the narrative and the gameplay, this trilogy refined mechanics and escalated the story in such a fantastic, well-paced method, mercilessly forcing it within the most memorable in gaming’s franchises.

From the climax that was God of War III, it’s only natural to wonder where to go from the literal top of Mount Olympus. God of War: Ascension aims to answer this with the most prequel-y of prequels, predating every other God of War title. Kratos is still a man, one enslaved for his past mistakes and Ascension attempts to tell the story of this particular side of Kratos. Even though it bears the prestigious God of War name, Ascension feels like a generic, halfway competent competitor rather than one of the founding fathers of the hack and slash genre.

50 Shades of Ashy White

As previously mentioned, Ascension tells the story of Kratos during the stages of his rebellion against Ares. Bond-breakers don’t get a mere slap on the wrists, employing the Furies to be the neutral faction in these kinds of situations. Being the man Kratos is, he doesn’t take the Furies’ imprisonment and beatings lightly, vowing to destroy them for what they’ve done, all the while setting subtle seeds for the original God of War.

On a surface level, the idea is brilliant. It manages to squeeze out one of Kratos’ untold stories without feeling as forced as it should. Breaking his bond to Ares is one of the only areas not explored for Kratos. However, the flaws come within the execution.

The second God of War game starring three female antagonists.

Ascension isn’t paced well, leaving long stretches without any meaningful plot occurring. Hours can roll by before you meet anyone of interest or discover some new twist within the plot. Because of this, it can feel narratively barren at times and borderline boring at its worst. Glimpses of an interesting plot are shown, making it that much more frustrating that the storytelling can’t find an amusing way to tell its tale.

From the marketing and the marquee quote on the back of the box, Ascension has been touted to display the more human side of Kratos, one less angry and vengeful. This is partly true, but his new, calmer attitude isn’t as engaging. Kratos rarely even utters any words, making him more of an ashy puppet than strong protagonist. His tranquil demeanor isn’t as blasé as it sounds, but his performance would be much more memorable if he actually interacted and talked with the world at large more often. In fact, if he actually talked more, this could have been his best performance yet. Most of the issues can somehow be linked to the poor pacing.

They barely beat the “wife and kid” drum.

The other problems are more dependent on the tertiary characters in the cast. Most people have a base knowledge of Greek mythology, recognizing names like Zeus, Athena, Hades, and Hercules when the appear. God of War has always cherrypicked the most recognizable of the Greek pantheon and conveniently squeezed these faces into the plot, leaving something for everyone to identify. By God of War III, all of these highlighted names have been shown and/or killed in the most disgusting of ways. Since all bases have been covered, it forces Ascension to scrape the bottom of the mythological barrel and choose names with little sway. Hecatonchires, Orkos, and The Furies are the takeaways here, all of which are obscure to point of never actually being heard of by most people. This lineup can’t bank on namesake alone nor are they characterized well, leaving all to be fairly average at best.

This ho-hum, generic atmosphere also spreads to the gameplay. Kratos’ signature Blades of Chaos whip about in a traditional method, but it lacks various nuances that set this version of Kratos far behind the others. The moveset has been neutered in favor of a Rage mode that fills as you deal and avoid damage. Once filled, locked moves become available. While good on a pure conceptual level, keeping this gauge full is headache-inducing due to other flaws.

Kratos’ ability to dodge and block has always been fair, yielding frames of invulnerability and allowing fast movement. Ascension treks backwards and makes Kratos far too vulnerable far too often, thus making it more difficult to keep your Rage gauge full. Using items, moves, special moves, or magic leaves Kratos defenseless for a second or two and prone to getting juggled. Because of this, it becomes a cycle of depending on the same moves since picking longer moves is just a cry to get hit. Canceling out of attacks just doesn’t happen anymore and cranking up the difficulty only pokes even larger gaping holes in the core combat system. Problems this severe usually occur early in a franchise’s lifespan making it even more astonishing how prevalent they are here.

Fights are harder without a reliable dodge and block.

While less problematic, changing weapons feels like an afterthought. Elements (soul, fire, ice, and electricity) have been substituted for actual switching but they only have a facade of deepening the combat. Besides the inability to cancel out of moves, the different blade modes just don’t feel like they have any means of communicating with each other. Few actions link into other actions, leaving once-fluid, combo-heavy combat to rot in favor of a disjointed system with every mechanic on a different page. With less moves and with a limited way to chain combos, the new shallower combo system adds insult to injury.

World weapons encapsulate this incoherent feel. The Circle button no longer grabs, but is now the world weapon button used for armaments picked up around the environment. Slicing around with the sword or swinging the club yields little enjoyment because of each’s inability to add any depth to the combat. Sluggish animations and an extremely limited moveset with each will ensure every one of these world weapons is a superfluous underutilized aspect of the combat.

A worthy fight ahead.

Not everything is a loss concerning the swordplay. When enemy configurations actually (and rarely) decide to be satisfying, combat can show small glimpses at the series’ past. Brutally taking down beasts with the new promptless minigame and juggling is still a raw thrill, something the game doesn’t do enough. Instead it stirs around its problems too often to make these highlights more than small, tantalizing moments.

Puzzles and platforming retain an old feel. Brain teasers are simple, yet intricate and somehow involving that coveted “A-ha!” moment every good puzzle should have. Platforming is also well-done, if only faithfully retreading the franchise’s past.

Scaling the beautiful environments is a single reason of why platforming is worth doing. Ascension has a less inspired art style with far less memorable set pieces, but its hard to deny the raw technical prowess of the assets on-screen. The wizards at Sony Santa Monica has truly showcased their familiarity with the hardware as shown by the striking amount of detail in the lighting, character models, and environmental structures. Scale doesn’t match the heights of their previous effort, but continually zooming out and maintaining a high level of animation and visual detail is truly astonishing every time (even if it obstructs what you’re actually doing).

A big, pretty fight, if not exactly fun to actually do.

Normally, I’d cut the review here, but Ascension has one thing the other God of War games don’t have: multiplayer. Once you clear the first hour of the campaign, you can take to abyss of the Internet to face off against a whole array of Kratos lookalikes. Wielding a giant sword in a hack and slash setting against actual people has its thrills and sticks out because of its unique take.

Your initially bland warrior can be customized by adding armor and choosing an allegiance. Hades, Zeus, Poseidon, and Ares all offer different classes with each giving different perks and playstyles. This well is surprisingly deep and allows for everyone to play slightly differently, despite it being overwhelming at the outset.

Polyphemus is very focused.

Once you finally drop into a match, Ascension is novel fun. Juggling opponents and scurrying around the map with your loadout is a nerve that gaming hasn’t really struck before. While it can be a pain getting your ass handed to you, the sheer ingenuity and high presentation values make for a game that you can return to every once in a while. This genre hasn’t been represented with any respect in this multiplayer territory, but Ascension makes some solid first steps. Even though I’m not foaming at the mouth for more, I want to at least go back to this multiplayer, which is more than I thought I’d ever say.

God of War: Ascension is a step back both chronologically and for the franchise as a whole. Kratos’ descent in blind fury has been an enjoyable ride, but Ascension is a prime example of trying too hard to plop out another iteration and failing to add anything of value. While the multiplayer is a better-than-it-should-be mode, the campaign desperately claws at its prestigious past as it gets dumped into a more monotonous backdrop. Once fluid combat has been jettisoned for a system that allows for less finesse and combo opportunities, making for a God of War game that isn’t always a blast to interact with. With all of these criticisms, its mere existence is questionable. Like Kratos in God of War II, Ascension shows that it’s only possible to fall from God-like status.

A God:

+Spectacular visuals
+Rare glimpses at familiar God of War
+Nifty puzzles and platforming

A mere mortal:

-Combat is less deep and varied along with having less satisfying encounters
-Kratos gets stunned and locked in his animations far too often
-Story pacing is uneven

Final Score: 7/10